Institute for UnAmerican Values

We'll have this on our stationary!

Exciting times down here in Southern Ilinois. In a strong move to distance themselves from growing concerns about their funding agenda, the Templeton Foundations alternative funding arm, the Simpleton Institute, has just awarded me $6.6 million dollars to fund my Institute for UnAmerican Values. We’ll be using this cash to push the atheist socialist homosexual islamic agenda. In addition to promoting science (a key unAmerican value), we’re planning to branch out into beastiality and critical realism.