Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are!

Serious Person Looking for Action

What I’d really like to see is for “public intellectuals” to simply post up. Put it out. What are you about? What do you really believe? Do you think my kids are going to fry in hell for not believing in your gods? Do you think that Jesus not only existed, but was the son of a god and born of a virgin? Do you think that the gods hear the prayers of Jews, Moslems, Buddhists, Hindus, Sikh’s and etcetera? Do you think that women who get pregnant should be forced to have babies? Do you think that abortion is murder, and if so, what should the penalty be for the female? What about the provider? Do you think that teenagers should be allowed to purchase condoms? Get birth control pills? Come on, assholes. Fess up. Tell me true. Come out of the closet. What about these gays? Should they be put in prison? Allowed to vote? Allowed to hold jobs? How about visit their own children? You know, GLBT people very often have children, and most of them didn’t buy them in China.

The reason why I’d really like to see this is because many people consider me “beyond the Pale”. Yeah. I’m not a serious person. Not a real scholar. Just ignore those 53 peer reviewed publications, 10 book chapters, book, 6 editorial boards, and shit like that. No. I’m not a serious person because I say fuck a lot. And, I’m mean. And, I’m frequently condescending and unprofessional–If I think you made a stupid comment in a presentation or in an article review, I’ll point that out publicly.  If it’s in a presentation, the audience will laugh at you (I’m exceptionally funny). If it’s in an article review, the editor will think you’re an idiot or a liar when s/he reads my memo. Oh, and, I once wore tights to a professional presentation (never mind that the paper was published within six months of my usual flawless delivery of the theoretically informed and methodologically sophisticated  scientific material), and haven’t worn a suit since my father’s funeral fifteen years ago.

So, while a normal scholar who says fuck a lot and sometimes wears tights and has a life beyond scholarship is considered an unserious person, can we really think that people who believe in a god who condemns all Moslems/Buddhists/Sikhs/Hindus/ etc to hell is a serious person? Can we really respect the opinions of a “scholar” who believes that unless you believe in his gods, you are damned to eternal torture? Should we really consider parochial religious activists to be serious people, and then dismiss the views of others based on their hobbies or mode of dress? Can you really be a serious scholar and believe that some illiterate Palestinian 2000 years ago was a god who was born of a virgin? If these people are so fucking serious, why don’t they come out and ‘fess up? Tell us what you really think. You know what I think.


2 Responses to “Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are!”

  1. ryan Says:

    Who said you’re not a serious scholar?

  2. Hagan Says:

    Fuck ’em. That’s all I got.

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