You Suck, Your Religion Sucks, Stop Breathing My Air….

Fat Bastard

Christianity,  the official religion of the United States of America, will now be supplied exclusively by fundamentalist megachurch nutjobs. In exchange for not voting for him, Barak Obama has chosen Dick Warren to be the official presider over his coronation. After all, we have to reach out to all types, reach across the aisle and reward the people who ruined not just our country, but most of the planet! We can show that we are tolerant, and that we can work through our differences.

I used to believe that kind of tolerance crap. I used to militantly defend right-wing Christian academics from a host of detractors. I wrote them letters of recommendation, helped them get jobs and grants, made passionate arguments for their tenure, and even bought them shots of tequila. Early on, they seemed to appreciate my evenhanded approach to scholarship, and they liked my work showing that sectarian denominations are growing, and that sectarians and Catholics go to church a lot, and they could use my black church stuff in their classes and look multicultural. Gradually, there came to be a sizable crew of professionally active scholars with conservative Christian commitments. The conservative Christians found themselves favored by religiously-hued research foundations, in part because most secular social scientists were uninterested in religion and leary of some of the foundations–so the pool of potential recipients for large sums of money was fairly small. The young Christians became emboldened by their newfound mainstream status, and, like ideologues of other types, began to reimagine  social institutions from the lens of their distinctive faiths. I didn’t agree with many of their interpretations, and my own work pointed to some rather negative things associated with conservative Christianity–like primitive childrearing practices (ASR 1993), low educational attainment (ASR 1997, JSSR 1999), gender inequalities  (JSSR 1999, RRR 2000), and low verbal ability (ASA 2007). They didn’t like it when I showed that gay men are really active in religion (JSSR 2002), or that large portions of Americans are uncommitted to religion (SF 2001), and close to 20% of Americans don’t believe in a “god” (Soc. Spectrum 2008).

The conservative Christians have now taken on a mission to cleanse the social sciences of work that places Christian religion in a negative light. I am more than just a little pissed off at some disingenuous reviews I have received on several recent papers, and I’ve seen it happen to several other scholars in anonymous reviews that have come back in reviewer packets (on very good papers, which have still not been  published).  The standard lines are things like “this doesn’t really address the big picture or capture the critical realistic connections between religion and anal sex”  “There is no theoretical justification for the operationalization of sectarian Protestants, and no reason to single this group out for scrutiny on cock sucking in public restrooms.”  The longer reviews go through the trouble to blatantly lie about supposed shortcomings—telling the editors what I did, and claiming I didn’t.  “The author should use an established measure such as Haggard et al to classify religious groups, that will establish more conceptual clarity on who is sucking whom.” 

What these people believe is that my children deserve to be tortured throughout eternity for masturbating or something, and certainly for not believing in their three “good” gods, one evil god, and minions of other supernatural beings (angels, demons, shit like that). Fuck y’all. I’ll tolerate you when you tolerate me. We are being told to unilaterally concede moral authority to a bunch of sick little monkeys. The religious wackjobs would fuck the rest of us in a second. It doesn’t matter if the venue is getting healthcare, seeking academic knowledge, or continuing an endless pogrom of religious holy wars. They will do whatever the fuck they want to us, because they have meaning and purpose, and we are meaningless and purposeless.  It’s a bad message to send to 20% of our nation and most of the rest of the world to glorify Christianity in official U.S. functions. It is even worse to glorify the Christianity adhered to by the most unthinking, unlearned, and radically prejudiced 20% of Americans.

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